Tuesday, February 3, 2009

A Letter to Motley Crue

Dear Nikki, Vince, Mick, and Tommy -

I just wanted to drop you a line and offer some feedback based on the opening night of your "Saints of Los Angeles" tour in San Diego. Let me begin with a little history... "Too Fast for Love" came out when I was 12 years old. As a 12-year old white kid growing up in a suburb of Los Angeles, I found myself riding my tricked out Schwinn Hornet up to the local music store (Music +) to kill time. I loved looking at the record covers, reading the sleeves, and trying to work out how much I needed to save up to come home with a new piece of vinyl.

Prior to "Too Fast for Love", Billy Squier "Don't Say No", Rush "Moving Pictures" and the 45 for Queen "We are the Champions" were monopolizing the all-in-one turntable I had. I remember thinking you guys looked insanely cool on the back of the album and that the music must sound great as a result. Makeup, spiky hair, skulls, weird-shaped guitars, AWESOME!!! I wasn't disappointed when I got home either - I was right... and it felt good.

The US Festival in 1983 sealed the deal. On Sunday, May 29th 1983 you guys followed up Quiet Riot and were on your game. Followed by Ozzy Ozbourne, Judas Priest, Triumph, The Scorpions, and Van Halen - it was clear that you were destined for big things in the rock world.  AWESOME!

The love affair continued with "Shout at the Devil". I remember staying up countless nights waiting for "Looks That Kill" to come onto MTV. I remember staying at my aunt's house and making her stay up so that I could show her how crazy Tommy's drum playing was - it was unlike anything I had seen previously.  I didn't necessarily get the whole pentagram thing, and that part where you herd all of the muddy women into a corral seemed a bit strange, but fire and skulls were still cool and you guys rocked.  I wore the tape out on my Walkman.  AWESOME!

Well, it's 2009 now and there have been *25* years and *7* full studio albums since "Shout at the Devil".  I may have had one of them on cassette and that "Home Sweet Home" video was pretty cool, but the train had officially jumped the track.  I know it's important to be relevant - it's just a shame that it had to come from VH1 specials about snorting ants, drinking urine, grainy boating videos, and stealing clothes from homeless people.  Nikki - I know you get it too.  You speak fondly of your first two records and refer to the last 25 years as the "new stuff".  I'd look for a way out and hide behind stories too if my name was in the liner notes for "Generation Swine".  

I get it - you are rock stars and you will do whatever you choose. Maybe I'm just jealous. Your legacy *is what it is* and I spent $35 to see what has become of you last night - the joke is on me for keeping your dream alive.  Your upcoming movie based on "The Dirt" will simply seal the fact that you were a decent band that has spent the last 25 years milking the system with crap.  I'm going to go see that too and then I'm done... unless you re-master "Too Fast For Love" and re-release it with a record sleeve made out of dirty owl bones and cigarette butts.  Then I'm really done.

You should be too.  


Canceled Check

1 comment:

ScottE said...

Did you hear Nikki's "Sixx-AM" album? Tripe. And not the good kind you get in menudo, where it's spicy and kind of chewy.